John Wesley had a terrible marriage.. Actually, the woman he married was out of convenience and not pure love. The woman he wanted to marry was his former nurse called Grace, but grace was doubling in relationships with a pastor friend of John Wesley called Bennett. Later, after weighing her choices, Grace chose Pastor Bennet instead of John Wesley. In reply to one of his conversation with him, Grace affirmed her love to John Wesley- but it easily made him know who’s her choice. She wrote, “I Love you a thousand times better than I ever loved Bennet in my life-But I am afraid, if I don’t marry Bennet, he”ll run mad! When Pastor Wesley met her, all he could tell grace is,” Murray Grace, you’ve broken my heart!.
After this conversation, in a matter of days, Grace married Pastor Bennet. As it has been said, It’s only a woman who separates close male friends, Love for a grace had dealt a heavier blow on the relationship between two pastors. John Wesley could only meet Bennet once in a church conference and he only kissed him on the cheek, but never said anything to him. He seemed hurt by his action to marry his woman but from then-on, he kept that social distance between him and Pastor Bennet for yrs. It’s said he only saw grace again after close to 30 yrs, and in her old age. On his part, Pastor Bennet read the signs well and Left the Methodist Church (Led by John Westley) and started his own ministry.
It’s so unfortunate that John’s ability to make the right choice for marriage wasn’t what many would expect from a man of God like him. It’s his brother Charles” concern for his choices that made them disagree as brothers for the first time in life. It took other preachers for the two to reconcile. He believed in his democratic right to choose whoever he wished but his brother wanted him to make a choice yes, but make his close friends advise and counsel before settling down, since he carried a great ministry on his shoulders.
after some time, Charles his brother was in for another shocker when John fell in love and married Molly Vazeille, the widow of Anthony Vazeille, who had four children. Marrying a widow with children is not bad, but how John rushed that decision after a close confidante convinced him to marry her, is what amazed many, including his brothers and sisters. In reality, when you have been single for long, and not watchful, settling in is as easy as one plus one. John Wesley, during this time, slipped on the ice on the middle of London Bridge and struck his ankle against the stone side. This made him to have a hard time walk. In this moment of sickness, he was taken to Molly’s home to recuperate, and he was there for one week. He preached on his knees that Sunday and on Monday, October 1751, he married Molly Vazeille. It was a rushed decision that hurt him later so much as a minister of the gospel but he had to live with his choice- however how bad it was.
When they fell in love during that week he was recuperating, Molly assured him that his constant travel would not be an issue to her but no sooner, she discovered she was not cut to be a wife of an itinerant minister of the Gospel. She later grew lonely and Jealous of John Wesley whenever he was away.
When married to a pastor, talking to women is normal- but Molly seemed to have another assignment against John Wesley. She would open his mails and responding badly to women who wrote to him for advice. In anger, she began passing his private papers to John’s enemies or publishing them in the newspapers, and sometimes even re-writing the way the letters would appear to make her husband look even worse. She would travel a hundred of miles just to see with whom John was traveling with in his carriage, whenever he arrived in town. One day, it took a member of staff in John’s team to save him after he found an enraged Molly standing on John, while holding his hair and dragging him around the room. She often left her Marriage and came back whenever she wanted to come back, but to many, his Marriage was doomed to fail from start, because it was based on convenience more than on love.
My question to us all is, does that sound familiar to you or what a Marriage or relationship you know is going through? Research says most people are just married for convenience’s sake and not out of Love. Some stay together for the sake of their children and if the kids were removed from the picture ( God forbid), they won’t stay for another second.
Recently i was wondering secretly to myself, why some people I knew on Facebook as friends, after marrying and advertising their relationship with pomp online, suddenly, you can’t even see a single photo of that man or woman they said they once adored on their timeline. I keep asking myself silently, “What happened to the glow of that once great relationship? Talking to them, you realize some have stories of things you even don’t want your ears to hear. They’re now either single mum’s or single fathers.
It has been said 30 yrs is what defines a woman’s stand on Christ. Most godly women, once they hit 30, they suddenly want marriage by force or by fire! Majority of them at this age, don’t care much of the type of person they marry as long us he promises Marriage! It’s when married that they realize it’s not as rosy as they thought. One of them hurried like John Wesley, only to get married to a son of a witch! Now as a wife, you’re demanded to do things your Christian background can’t allow. In disgust and regret, she left the marriage.
Another friend got married to a devil worshipper who used to attend church. She had not known he was a devil but signs were clear, and her excuse when approached was, I will change him! For long, as they dated, “that was her slogan when asked how spiritual he’s on godly things! After they got a first born, the dad to the man, who was a priest in the devil’s workshop, plus the son ( her hubby), were demanding for the child to be sacrificed to their gods. She told me it’s God’s grace that moved her from that home, but if she waited longer, she and her child would be dead by now.. She said to me in my hearing that she’s willing to wait on God’s choice and no-longer in a hurry as before. She learnt the lesson the hard way, and so are many believers who moved in with unbelievers, hoping to pray for their salvation, while in marriage. Some got married, only to be invited to a couples meeting in a hotel somewhere, only to discover that it’s a meeting where men and women who attend are either called for ” threesomes ” or wife swapping-and the husband they said they’ll pray for their salvation has no problem with such arrangements. At such moments, she realizes she has to stand her ground and say NO, even with the risk of death or loosing marriage, but it’s too late. The hubby gives ultimatums.. If you don’t Swapp, don’t count me as your husband-and she says NO-AND LOOSES THE RELATIONSHI—But the signs were all over, but she feigned love to her detriment.
Relationships that come out of convenience rather than love end up hurting you more than you can imagine. One woman of God left and said NO after she realized he’s a multiple man…both gay and straight, and he wanted her to accept him as “he’s” . She left but not ready to mix herself anymore with worldly men. This days, you won’t go far if you dared ask people what’s happening in those mansions or mud Houses in our slums.
We have people crying bitter cries and I know God feels it as we feel- but the problem is, we chose to get married or married like Wesley out of convenience rather than love. We hate Being ridiculed and rush to the next woman or man, just to fit-in to society’s demands, rather than seek God’s will. God’s intentions for Marriage was simple. He says in Malachi 2:15. “why did he make you one? (Reason) That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
God wanted a godly seed that will influence society for good and for God. Today I ask, are you in that relationship out of convenience or out of love for God and in fulfillment of his will? Is your partner saved or you”ll save him later, as many say? God is calling us to examine our relationships and model them according to his will. Don’t make John’s mistake to marry out of convenience rather than love. Just imagine with me how the Methodist would have impacted society, incase John made the right decision for a Mrs? If we feel his impact on a personal effort as upto now, how much would it be, if he had the same woman with a zeal for God as he was?. Again, how is your Marriage to those married? Are you about to run out or grateful to God for the right choice you made? Kindly answer yourself. God bless you
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